10 more days and Alex and I will be China bound...I am so consumed with the little details that the reality still hasn't hit home. I am constantly thinking, planning, organizing, shopping--all in preparation for my young son's arrival. So much in fact, that I now dream in sign language. Really! In my dreams I am signing to him! Crazy, right?
This week my 90 year old grandfather stayed with us (and yes, I still have 3 grandparents even though I am 43!). He flew in from Colorado (alone!) to spend some time with my family. I was thrilled to be seeing him again this year.
I enjoyed laughing and playing board games with Granddad at the kitchen table. But it's not easy watching a grandparent age. I was happy to cook for him and to wash his clothes--to remind him to wash his hands and NOT to take his teeth out and place them on my kitchen table after dinner ;) I loved taking care of him. But evenings? Evenings were hard on both us of. I am told that the elderly can be as sharp as a tack during the day, but as the evenings fall to darkness, so does the delicate mind of Granddad. "Sundowners Syndrome" is what it is called. Confusion sets in and the once flowing conversations are few. This is when he tells me to put him bed.
I walked him into his bedroom every night and helped him into his pajamas. These tender moments are ones that I cherish. Moments when he gave into dignity, put aside his pride, and let his granddaughter help him to bathe and to dress. There was a look of gratefulness in his eyes even as he felt some embarrassment. That is a look I'll hold onto. The look that tells me I am appreciated and adored. As I stood in front of him, buttoning his shirts, I wondered how long I will have him here. The days events ran through my mind...laughing with the kids, telling stories of the 'old' days, even the fall he took on the way into the car that morning ...and the panic I felt trying to lift him to his feet. I felt he read my mind as our eyes met and my thoughts finally cleared. He smiled at me and pursed his lips to kiss me-just like a little boy.
In just 10 days I will again give that kind of love. The kind that lets you know you are needed and wanted. In 10 days my life will change forever. In 10 days we will be a family of 6. In 10 days I will again nurture. Only this will be a different kind of nurture.
