A Letter From Your Momma

My Dearest Jace,

It is with the utmost love in my heart that I write my first letter to you.  Our journey from the Lord to you is found within the pages of this blog.  It is here you will find my thoughts from the beginning of this journey until now.  I may not have given birth to you, but you were chosen to belong to me.  The Lord knew you before you were born.  It was the Lord who guided you to your family. I don't know how or where your tiny life began, but what I have learned about you is etched into my mind forever.  I treasure every little nugget of information that was given to me.

You were born in Beijing, China.  You were found in a hallway of the Beijing Children's Hospital.  Your exact birthdate is unknown, but you were given a birthday of January 15, 2007, based on dental impressions when you were found.  You were wearing a red hat and jacket.  You stayed with the Beijing Police department for three weeks until you were moved to the Beijing Children's Welfare Institution.  You remained there until the summer of 2010.  That day in July when we met.  That is the day our family was completed.

I remember the look in your eyes when you walked around the corner into the waiting room where I was sitting.  You were holding hands with your nanny, your eyes big and curious.  I may have even detected a hidden smile. I was shaking, nervous, excited...my anticipation exploded when our eyes met.  You watched as I fell apart in awe.  I put my arms out to you.  You were still cautious, but interested.  I could almost see you thinking 'Who is this woman?'.  The nanny kept saying "Mama, Mama...", but your world was silent.  You couldn't hear any explanation of who I was...or why you were there.

You came closer and I pulled you onto my lap.  I remember how natural it felt as you sat in my lap.  I showered you with toys just so I could study every inch of your face, the color of your precious skin, every freckle, every finger and toe...It was as if I gave birth to you that very moment.

We played a little more.  I laughed.  I cried. And for the first time, you smiled.  In the photos that were sent to me as I waited for you, I never saw you smile.  And there you were...in my arms, smiling.  Your smile was infectious.  Every mom and dad in that room smiled back at you.  There wasn't a dry eye in that place.  After about an hour, I regained my composure.  I scooped you up along with your belongings, put you on my hip, and out of the building we walked.  Your arms were around my neck.  You looked at me and smiled again.  Your eyes never turned behind us.  You never looked back, and neither did I.

We boarded a bus headed for our hotel.  Again, you were on my lap.  Only this time you were facing me.  I motioned for you to kiss me and you did.  It was then I knew you were comfortable.  Although unprepared for this transition, you sensed 'home'.  You see Dear Jace, home isn't where you live.  It isn't a country, an institution, or a house.  It's a belonging.  It's a deep seeded love that will never go away.  It's with the people you love.  'Home' is a family.

My beloved Jace..you are HOME.